“Why don’t he write?”

The movie Dances with Wolves (1990) has this scene where Kevin Costner’s character and an old muleskinner come upon the skeletal remains of a person who died on the plains of the Old West.

“What you got there?” the Timmons character asks Lieutenant Dunbar. Laughing Timmons says, “Somebody back East sayin’, ‘Why don’t he write?'”

Could someone, somewhere be asking the same question about you?

How often do you write letters or notes?

The default setting to communicate with people leans far too much on technology.

More people at one time. Email. Text. Social media.

Faster and faster. Furiouser and furiouser.

Less content. Shorthand that dilutes feeling.

More reliance on symbols to convey emotions and abbreviations for what used to be actual words.

But are we shortchanging ourselves by trying to keep up with too many people instead of a few good friends and family?

Digital minimalism––”A philosophy of technology use in which you focus your online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value, then happily missing out on everything else.”

Cal Newport, computer scientist, author of Digital Minimalism, Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World

Digital Minimalism is a trend, backlash from overuse of communication systems and devices. With all the technology at our fingertips, people can feel more isolated and disconnected from reality than ever before.

Which came first?

An empty mailbox? Or people who stopped sending mail?

Personal mail is real and rare.

The mailman delivers mostly junk and bills.

We rifle through the stack hoping to come across a hand-addressed envelope. To see a name we recognize. To open and find inside words written by someone who knows me.

We want to feel known. Recognizable and distinguished amidst a crowd.

We want our friends. Our community. Real people in real time.

And actual, tactile references to the depth of these relationships.

I don’t save every note I receive. I don’t expect those I write to save every note I send. Still, even handling the notes later, after receiving and reading, gives me the gift of recognition. Of someone important to me, whose time was spent thinking of me.

And that’s something I value.

If it costs nothing, it’s probably worth the same.

Spend some time writing a note to send, letting someone you care about know they are worth keeping close.